jack ★ he/him ★ 22

carrd

1 234


stjohnstarling:

you finally confess your attraction to the hot priest and he’s like “oh darling, I thought you’d never ask” and proceeds to bite your neck and turn you into another catholic priest

marxism-leninism-memeism:

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this is the funniest thing i have ever seen

pigeonreligion:

graphic design belongs to the people

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fieldbears:

saintsideways:

battlships:

arsonforcharlie:

pengychan:

pengychan:

My brother’s girlfriend had HPV, so he went to get himself the HPV vaccine. There is a fee to pay (nothing much, something like €87) but it’s completely free if you’re in one of the “at risk” groups.

“What does that mean,” he asks.
“It’s free if you’re gay,” he’s told.
“Ah. Would I have to like, prove it, or…?”
“Just put in a check mark here.”

My brother is in no way, shape or form attracted to men, but also he’s stingy as it gets. So now he’s officially gay. Congrats bro.

“Doctor, give it to me straight”
“You sure, there’s a fee”
“… Give it to me gay”

AGAB (Assigned Gay At Billing)

Fascinated by the fact that his first question was about if he’d have to prove it. I wanna know how far that man would go to save less than a dollar

Sorry, do you think 87 euros is less than a dollar

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powerburial:

yarnala:

powerburial:

my wicked concubine keeps demanding i kill my best servants for her amusement

bro she is purposefully isolating you

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dogmotifz:

whiskey dick is such a beautiful phrase if I had a gorgeous maine coon cat I would name her whiskey dick

morelikeoscarthanoscar:

miiilowo:

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*kneels down, touches dirt* something terrible happened here

newvegascowboy:

“Tumblr is my bedroom” this “tumblr is a pinboard” that

Tumblr is an apartment complex with thin walls and every so often you just have to listen to your neighbors say the most deranged shit imaginable

graegrape:

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bad choice road